Was your Thanksgiving celebration enjoyable? Did you take time to tell your family and friends what they mean to you? Did you thank the Lord for His many blessings?

Or did you quickly shove down some delicious food and then get online for the best deals, or drive to the store? Most retailers were open at some point on Thanksgiving Day.

I am all for retail sales, but stores don't need be open on Thanksgiving and keep their employees from enjoying the Thanksgiving holiday with their friends and families.

With online sales, there are very few people involved as it is computers taking the orders, but I still balk at the idea of beginning "Black Friday" on Thanksgiving Thursday. I know that people want to score that fabulous deal on the latest electronics or whatever is on their family's Christmas list, but it should be able to wait.

There are numerous organizations — animal rescue, veterans, homeless and religious — that could desperately use donations at this time of year. Winter is upon us. Why not buy some jackets and warm clothing and donate them for the needy?

Do you have family members that could use some extra help at this time of year with groceries, clothes for their children, or money for utility bills? We all have less fortunate people in our families, church or biological, that can use financial help. Let's use some of our resources to help others, rather than increasing our "stash" of toys.

Most of us don't have unlimited resources, so why not allocate what you can afford to spend for Christmas; some for gifts for the family, and some for those in need. Your church will know who needs help. Ask what supplies or clothes are needed, or contact an organization such as the Salvation Army.

Our neighbors in Mexico Beach, Marianna and Port St. Joe as well as other places are still in need. Find a church group that is feeding them or taking supplies and donate to them. Just make sure it is a reputable group. Look around. The needs are great and funds are limited.

I would like to challenge all of us to share with our family, friends and neighbors who are in need this Christmas season. The Lord loves a cheerful giver (II Corinthians 9:7).

Janice Lynn Crose, a former accountant, lives in Crestview with her husband, Jim; her two rescue collies, Shane and Jasmine; and two cats, Kathryn and Prince Valiant.

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: Many people, organizations are in need this time of year

Women today have many more choices than did earlier generations: whether to work or pursue a career, if and when to have a baby, whether to be a stay-at-home mom or to work outside the home, and the kind of child care to pick if they work. So many choices — or so it seems.

Choice was meant to be liberating. It became the mantra of an earlier generation in the women’s movement. But choice means making a choice, having to choose within the limits imposed by reality. Choice turns out to be not always as liberating and empowering as everyone had hoped. Choice seems to bring with it many conflicts, both internal and external. 

Many women are struggling to meet the competing demands made of them. The most difficult balancing act has become the one between family life and work. Parents trying to find that balance have found that the work world is such that getting ahead — even staying in place — does not permit giving the consideration they would like to family life. 

Even the choice to work is in itself not always a choice. Economic reality is such that the need for dual incomes has become a fact of life. Yet, many choices are involved in making that decision, such as where people want to live, what kind of education they choose for their children, what material benefits are important to them. What one values becomes a major issue in the choices made.

But the conflict that has arisen for many women in trying to decide whether to work outside the home has to do with feelings within themselves. Individual care, and especially mother care, has long been idealized in our culture. We’ve all been exposed to these beliefs and they permeate our feelings.

We fall in love with our babies and are loathe to turn them over to someone else’s care. That doesn’t mean they can’t do well without our being there 24/7. It means that we feel that they won’t, and start to feel guilty if we are not there.

These feelings often lead mothers to feel they must give every available hour they are not at work to their children — not only the realistic demands of work and family, but the kinds of demands they make of themselves can become overwhelming, demands stemming from an unrealistic picture of children’s needs. In many cases, when financially possible, this has led to a decision to give up one’s work life. 

Everyone tries to make the decision that is best for her own situation, but too often what propels such decisions are not just the reality factors, but the conflicted feelings that are stirred up by the choices involved. Conflict within ourselves creates the feeling that something is wrong, or we wouldn’t feel this way. We want to rid ourselves of this feeling that causes anxiety, and think that the right decision would take care of it. 

As mothers and citizens, there are things that we can work to change, such as better and more available child-care, more parent-friendly conditions in the workplace. But conflicted feelings are always going to be with us.

They are part of life, because hopefully we have all learned that nothing is perfect. We may choose one thing over another, but that doesn’t mean the conflict will be resolved. Instead, we have to learn how to live with contradictory needs and wishes — just as our children do. 

Choice can be a good thing — as long as we remember that choosing something almost always means also giving something up.

Elaine Heffner, LCSW, Ed.D., has written for Parents Magazine, Fox.com, Redbook, Disney online and PBS Parents, as well as other publications. She has appeared on PBS, ABC, Fox TV and other networks. Dr. Heffner is the author of "Goodenoughmothering: The Best of the Blog," as well as "Mothering: The Emotional Experience of Motherhood after Freud and Feminism."

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: Having to choose

President Donald Trump said at multiple rallies leading up to Tuesday’s election that the vote was actually a referendum on him.

I would say he won.

Could the results have been better for President Trump? Sure. After all, 21 of the 33 candidates he endorsed lost Tuesday night.

That’s not a great percentage considering the time and money he spent at rallies and on Twitter spreading the word.

But there was no “blue wave” either.

There are more Republicans in the Senate now that there were before. The House will flip, but that is not uncommon for a midterm election. It was nothing compared to recent midterm elections.

Bill Clinton lost 54 in the House and nine in the Senate in his first midterm. Barack Obama lost 63 in the House and six in the Senate during the Tea Party revolution in 2010.

Trump gained in the Senate and lost about 30 in the House. There are still about 20 races left to be determined — a fact that is hard to fathom in 2018.

What did we learn Tuesday night? A few things.

It is possible for Oklahoma to elect a Democrat.

After meeting Kendra Horn, I said if there was going to be a blue wave, that she would have to win or another candidate like her in a deep red state like Kansas. It turns out the Democrats needed Horn and Sharice Davids’ surprising wins just to take control of the House of Representatives. Horn is a difficult candidate to clone, though. You can’t make a playbook to be like her. Not many candidates are that smart, involved in organizing and experienced in campaigning. She took on a two-term incumbent with a military background and beat him. She is a great story and could very well become a player on a national stage.

It also didn’t hurt that her incumbent opponent sat on a huge war chest of campaign cash rather than spending it on the campaign. One day we may learn whether Steve Russell was overconfident or saving for a future race that he won’t have now.

Race is still a powerful motivator.

In Kansas, a woman took on a Republican Secretary of State who had a horrible record of racially charged immigration and vote suppression policies. In Georgia, the same scenario happened. In Kansas, the woman challenger was a white State Senator. In Georgia, it was a black member of the state House of Representatives.

Guess which one pulled an incredible upset.

Laura Kelly of Kansas and Stacy Abrams of Georgia had similar resumes and opponents and very different results. Kelly didn’t even have Will Ferrell and Oprah Winfrey campaigning for her in Kansas.In Florida, voters chose a candidate with ties to white nationalists over a black man who seemed to be a better candidate and easily won major debates. Andrew Gillham might have a chance to be a national figure later, but Tuesday was a painful loss.

I don’t think race was the primary factor in those races. There were plenty of issues that kept the votes close. When the elections are close, race can still be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

Women are making strides, but the work isn’t done.

It is kind of sad that we are celebrating the first time in history that more than 100 women were elected to Congress. It’s great to reach a milestone, but when the population is more than half women, representation in Congress at about 20 percent doesn’t sound like something to celebrate. However, it is progress and success breeds success. I expect more strong female candidates from both parties in the future. Even as I get way too close to my 50′s, the last thing I want to see is a bunch of entrenched elderly white men setting policy for a diverse country.

Change was expected and some came about

From Dana Rohrabacher losing in California (a big loss for Russia) to Scott Walker and Kris Kobach losing, all were good for America. Actually, those losses purged some bad seeds from Republican leadership, so I am all for it.

As are most elections, Tuesday night was a battle.

Winning a war requires winning many battles. The Senate sets up better for Democrats in 2020 than it did in 2018. If a Democrat can run well against Trump in that same election, you would likely see a shift in that house as well.

With control of the House, Democrats have the power to see Trump’s tax returns — which he promised to release. The Mueller investigation is also going to conclude at some point. I thought two years seemed like a long investigation. At this rate, Barron Trump will be president before Mueller finishes.

Now Jeff Sessions has resigned at the President’s request so even that investigation is in jeopardy. After all, the House can impeach Trump all they want, there is no way the Senate acts on it.

Voters gave Democrats a check on President Trump and Republicans in Congress by turning the House blue. They also gave Trump an easier path to getting judges and other appointments through the house by increasing the partisan gap in the Senate.

It wasn’t a complete victory for Trump. But it could have been a lot worse. Compared to other first-term presidents, it is hard to see those results as bad news for this administration.

Kent Bush is publisher of Shawnee (Oklahoma) News-Star and can be reached at kent.bush@news-star.com.

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: What did we learn from Tuesday’s midterms?

There are only four unbeaten teams left in the mix for the national title. Notre Dame is now in the top three with Oklahoma knocking on the door. Get in line, Sooners. Here are this week’s picks.

Atlantic Coast Conference

Boston College Eagles versus Virginia Tech Hokies: Can Boston College take advantage of a weak Virginia Tech? Sure. Eagles by 10.

Duke Blue Devils vs. Miami Hurricanes, ACC Game of the Week. These two teams are even in every physical aspect of the game. However, one wants to win more than the other. Blue Devils by 3.

Louisville Cardinals vs. Clemson Tigers: Clemson plucks the Cardinals' feathers in a move for the title. Tigers by 21-plus.

Florida State Seminoles vs. North Carolina State Wolfpack: The Seminoles are coming to Carter-Finley Stadium with war paint and the Wolfpack will send them home with their tails between their legs. Wolfpack by 6.

Syracuse Orangemen vs. Wake Forest Demon Deacons: Wake Forest is accustomed to beating up on the Orangemen. This time it’s the other way around and so much warmer than New York. Syracuse gets the big win on this one by 19.

Southeastern Conference

Alabama Crimson Tide vs. Louisiana State University Tigers, the SEC Game of the Week: No, the Train does not come off the tracks in Baton Rouge. Alabama just takes on more passengers. Crimson Tide by 21-plus.

Texas A&M Aggies vs. Auburn Tigers: The War Eagles are flying high again on this one. Auburn by 16 and coming up with a nice bowl game spot.

Georgia Bulldogs vs. Kentucky Wildcats: This is a game to watch! So many people love for the underdog — in this case “undercat” — to win. Although the Wildcats play hard, the Dawgs will take a big bite out of them. Georgia by 18.

South Carolina Gamecocks vs. Ole Mississippi Rebels: There have been many years since these two have played each other. The Gamecocks wish it was a few more years. Rebels by 12.

Missouri Tigers vs. Florida Gators: Who knew these two teams were going to be so close at this time of the year? Gators need this win bad. It’s Florida by 14.

Tie Breaker: West Virginia Mountaineers vs. Texas Longhorns. The Longhorns stubbed their big toe this past weekend and slammed the door to the title. However, it does open the door for the Mountaineers to get in that long line of want-to-bes. West Virginia by 3.

Game to watch: Oklahoma Sooners vs. Texas Tech Red Raiders. The Raiders have everything to gain in this game. Texas Tech by 1.

See you next week!

Bill Everett is a member of the Military Order of the Purple Heart. He lives in Baker.

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: Notre Dame is in the top three college football teams

And then there were five teams with zero losses. Four of them are in the South, after one big upset this week. 

Remember the saying, "On any given day, any given school can upset any other"? They did; there was a big party at West Lafayette, Indiana Saturday night and I’m sure well into Sunday. All the bookies are crying in their beer at their losses, along with Ohio State.

Teams are now scrambling for a big bowl game and a big finish for their year.

In the Southeastern Conference

Vanderbilt Commodores versus Arkansas Razorbacks: Arkansas cannot sink the Commodore’s Ship. Vanderbilt by 10.

Florida Gators vs. Georgia Bulldogs, the SEC Game of the week: Who let the Dawgs out? Georgia still in the hunt by 12.

Kentucky Wildcats vs. Missouri Tigers: It's a cat fight in Columbia. Missouri and the Tigers cannot tame the Wildcats. Kentucky by 3.

Tennessee Volunteers vs. South Carolina Gamecocks: Both teams are trying to get into a bowl game. Tennessee lucks out and wins this one by 3.

Texas A&M Aggies vs. Mississippi State Bulldogs: Texas A&M is still knocking on the door and saying, "Let me in the top 25."  Aggies by 10.                                             

In the Atlantic Coast Conference

Miami Hurricanes vs. Boston College Eagles, the ACC game of the week: Both teams are trying to show off a bit here, but neither is really ready to be the big winner. Boston College has the opportunity to show that the first few weeks were real and look at them now. Eagles by 7.

Clemson Tigers vs. Florida State Seminoles: From here on out Clemson is on a run with just a bit of help. The Seminoles do help. Tigers by 12.

Wake Forest Demon Deacons vs. Louisville Cardinals: Wake Forest needs to "wake" up. With too many ups and downs, it looks like they will miss Halloween. Louisville by 6.

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets vs. Virginia Tech Hokies: Two engineering schools trying to figure out how to beat each other with math. Sorry, folks — it takes more than brains to beat the brawn of Virginia Tech. Hokies by 12 and sitting pretty for a bowl game.

Duke Blue Devils vs. Pittsburgh Panthers: Trick or treat. Pittsburgh will win by the bag full — 13 points.

The tiebreaker game is Iowa Hawkeyes vs. Penn State Nittany Lions: Could this be a real whiteout with real snow on the ground or should we just stay with the white handkerchief in the stadium? Penn State is looking for a complete whiteout, but it will be the Hawkeyes by 1.

The game to watch is the South Florida Bulls vs. Houston Cougars. This is an enjoyable good game to watch with all the thrills and spills. Houston is trying to thin out the herd (good luck on that). It’s the Bulls by 13. 

See you next week!

Bill Everett is a member of the Military Order of the Purple Heart. He lives in Baker.

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: Pittsburgh will win beat Duke in college football

Widespread voter fraud is a myth. 

I was tempted to begin and end this column with only that sentence, but I guess I will expand on this fact since so many people in power are trying to sell their voters extra Kool-Aid lately. 

Voter fraud is part of the "us versus them" racist propaganda intended to make older white people scared of minorities. The logic is that people of color not only disagree with their choice of candidate, but they are voting multiple times and illegal immigrants are flooding across the borders to vote for Democrats. 

Illegal immigrants do their best to remain invisible. You won’t find one in a voting booth. 

Kris Kobach knows this. He has degrees from Harvard, Yale and Oxford for crying out loud. 

He is one of the smartest people you will ever meet. He is also one of the people most dedicated to making sure brown people don’t vote because most don’t agree with him. 

If you can convince people you lost because someone cheated, you can create laws that make voting more difficult — especially for people who don’t tend to vote the way you want them to. 

In Kansas, they were so convinced that Kobach was right about illegal immigrants voting en masse for Democrats (even though Kansas is one of the reddest states in America) that the legislature made the unprecedented move to grant Secretary of State Kobach prosecutorial powers in cases of voter fraud.

Not only would he control the policy, he would be the police and prosecutor to stop illegal voting. In about five years, Kobach has nabbed nine illegal voters. One of them was a college kid who didn’t realize she voted in her home state primary and again in Kansas. She voted for Donald Trump both times, by the way. These are hardly the results Kobach promised when he pulled the wool over the eyes of willfully ignorant legislators who wanted him to be right. 

Now they share the egg facial with Kobach.

Like many unproven, outlandish conspiracies, like the guilt of the Central Park Five, Barack Obama’s citizenship, immunizations leading to autism and Saudi Arabia’s royal family not being involved in the murder and dismemberment of a journalist who lived in America, President Donald Trump loved the idea of widespread voter fraud. 

Even with the theory being completely unproven and any study supporting the idea being discredited, President Trump stands ready to act. 

He tweeted this weekend, "All levels of government and Law Enforcement are watching carefully for VOTER FRAUD, including during EARLY VOTING. Cheat at your own peril. Violators will be subject to maximum penalties, both civil and criminal!"

And all of the villains on Scooby Doo would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids. 

President Trump’s supporters don’t want to believe they are falling for a conman. Why does he try to discredit the press? Because they report on all of his improprieties. Why does he love the idea of voter fraud? So he can discredit the midterm elections if they don’t go his way. 

It is beyond intellectually dishonest. It is actually dishonest. He knows widespread voter fraud doesn’t exist. He has met with Kobach face to face. He knows if there was any indication, it would have been found and trumpeted across the country.

But it hasn’t been found. It won’t be. You are more likely to find Sasquatch feeding its pet chupacabra before you find a group of illegal voters getting away with it.

Kobach and Trump know this. But they know other people who don’t like the idea of brown people having a say in elections like to hear it too so they keep peddling the lie. 

I long for the day when Trump supporters reach the end of their rope. I would love to hear them say, "We supported you through all of these things, but no more." 

However, the further we go with this administration, the less faith I have in people seeing the light. True believers will continue to believe even when they find out something isn’t true.

Some studies have dubbed this "the backfire effect" to describe how a person who holds a preference-based belief actually becomes more extreme in those beliefs after being confronted with objective evidence. 

The Trump administration is thriving on people who want to believe he is a legitimate president, who want to believe Supreme Court candidates are innocent of charges and want to believe the United States of America isn’t participating in the cover-up of a state-sponsored murder of a U.S. resident who wrote for the Washington Post. 

You can add voter fraud to the list of things people want to believe so badly, that no evidence will ever convince them they are on the wrong side of the issue.

Kent Bush is publisher of Shawnee (Oklahoma) News-Star and can be reached at kent.bush@news-star.com. 

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: President Trump takes a hard line on mythical crime