Editor’s Note: A Jay woman writes from the heart about gossip that follows a family during grieving.

First, my husband and I want to thank all those who came to our home after the tragic and sudden death of our daughter, who was 14 years old.

To see many people come to our home that we never met, unselfish and willing to help us in any way, put peace in our heart; that a small town could possibly help us, "the outsiders.”

This brings me also to a concern that there are some who have not been so sincere. I have always said, "If you have nothing nice to say, be quiet."

I have had people in the local store whisper to the other person they are with, "Isn't that the woman who's daughter offed herself?” I also get the looks now when I go out.

It's already hard being in a small town, being from another state far away, but to lose your teen daughter — your adopted daughter, the only child you will ever have, that you loved beyond words — it hurts when, instead of coming to me with condolences, these people use harsh terminology and have assumptions.

Even people who frequent certain churches here, it has gotten back to us that some have chosen a different perspective or intent. Instead of the other 90 percent that were here in our home, comforting us, bringing us food, and being there for us with phone calls and beyond.

I want to make a suggestion, and this is for anyone who may live in the town I am living in: I want to share my concern to those that feel gossip is appropriate to please reconsider these conversations — especially when you have nothing remotely close to facts.

Instead of asking why a person moved to this tiny town, perhaps telling them what is good about it and offering good referrals to local eateries and events would suffice as something us "outsiders" would like, instead of the plethora of questions we get.

There have been so many conversations I have personally overheard in stores and other places that are disturbing. I feel, if you claim to love God, you should show it by your behavior — period.

This is a time of grieving for our family. I could go on and on with things that have happened, from people driving at literally 2 mph past our home, gawking, turning around even in our driveway to see where she died. (No, it was not the rope from the tree in the front yard — sigh.)

We need people who are kind and there for us to comfort us; not turn our home into a "circus sideshow" of town entertainment.

What would you do if people did this to you and your family after your child committed suicide? I wonder if you would feel the same.

Or, would you assume that your child or someone you love could never do this?

We never did either.

Christina Freeman lives in Jay. 

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: A Jay mother's plea during a time of grief

It is easy to hate the 2016 presidential election.

Many decry what it has done to the electoral process, the decorum expected of the highest office in the land, and America’s reputation in the world.

Those are all bad.

One candidate saying they would bring a special prosecutor to attempt to jail his opponent after he wins would be brash even for a third-world dictator or a third-grade bully.

Calling forcible kissing and sexual battery against women and detailed descriptions of trying to have an affair with a married woman “locker room talk” is insulting to men in locker rooms everywhere. Trump can be heard on that decade-old tape where he said those deplorable things shaking a package of Tic Tacs while saying he needed one of the breath mints in case he starts kissing a beautiful woman — something he says he can’t control.

By Monday morning, after Sunday’s debate where Trump said he had never acted on his locker room talk, Jill Harth has been interviewed by Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times.

According to Kristof’s column, Harth said under oath in a deposition, “He name-dropped continuously when he wasn’t groping me.”

Harth and her boyfriend recall separate horrible events. The boyfriend was warned by Trump that he was attracted to Harth. Harth spoke of another event where she was pinned against a wall while the now-GOP standard bearer forcibly kissed her and groped her.

Does that sound familiar? Is that just locker room behavior?

Despite knowing that this deposition exists, Trump still said during the debate that he had never done anything of the sort. Instead, he focused his attacks on Bill Clinton and what he did with women in the 1980s and 1990s.

Isn’t that just like a petulant child? When he gets caught red-handed, all he can do is try to say his buddy Billy did something worse. It doesn’t help matters that Trump defended his buddy Billy at the time of his indiscretions.

Trump called Paula Jones “a loser” even though she could end the Bill Clinton presidency and he said America would have been fine with Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky if she had been better looking.

Those comments alone are reprehensible.

When you go beyond the sex scandals, which will only increase during the final month of this election if whisper campaigns are accurate, and include the large voice the Trump campaign has given racists and white supremacists, you can see why many respectable people want off this bandwagon.

However, the worst thing about this election for me has been a certain group of people who won’t get off of the Trump bandwagon — the religious right, or evangelical leaders or whatever general term you use for seemingly religious people who should know better than to hitch their wagon to this dead horse.

Don’t get me wrong, many respectable Christian leaders have removed themselves from the list supporting Trump. The ones that haven’t try to equivocate their remarks that even though Trump is a disgusting pig whose comments and actions are equally offensive, they are concerned about the future of the Supreme Court under a Clinton administration.

The same tired refrains have been spoken since the Roe. V. Wade ruling first legalized abortion across America. Honestly, nothing has been better for Republican lawmakers.

Every term before an election, you can count on some allegedly pro-life legislation to make its way onto the floor to give Republican representatives a little ammunition in their elections and help fuel the fires of Republican challengers running against incumbent Democrats.

Most, if not all, of these laws that do become law are challenged and fail to meet legal standards in appeals courts or at the Supreme Court. The process is almost as cynical as it is unnecessarily expensive.

But it works.

Languishing under the false hope that Roe v. Wade will be overturned if a man like Trump takes office, those same “religious” leaders who refuse to repudiate him have now smeared his filth on their pulpits and sullied their own names and their church’s reputations.

It is indefensible.

I know the concern. I feel it every day. If a Republican doesn’t win, a Democrat will. Not supporting Trump means Clinton wins. It isn’t a great choice and it doesn’t excite me at all.

But I, for one, will never support a person like Trump. In Matthew 7:6, Jesus has some advice for His followers. “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”

Cast your pearls before swine if you wish, but don’t expect me to get in the pig pen with you.

All men don’t behave this way. Do not excuse it for political expedience. Trump is a lying, cheating, lascivious individual who has no business enjoying the support of good people who mean well.

Kent Bush is publisher of Shawnee (Oklahoma) News-Star and can be reached at kent.bush@news-star.com.

This article originally appeared on Crestview News Bulletin: BUSH: Religious right is casting its pearls before swine